Trauma responses are how we respond to emotional threat. They are generally the result of how we coped with life as a child. How a character responds to emotional threat may not be in keeping with how they respond to physical threat.
It is not uncommon for the physical and emotional threat responses to be the same. But, that isn’t always the case. It could be that through training, they have changed their physical response to differ from their emotional response.
What it looks like
What does that look like? A character who, when challenged physically, will fight like a rabid animal, may go home to an emotionally abusive spouse and become a “fawner.” On the opposite end of the spectrum, the character who is an emotional bully (fight) may actively avoid a physical threat (flight) or threaten without carrying through (front).
Here are the trauma responses as I posted them on IG. I post tidbits like this all along. So, give me a follow @carla.c.hoch or #fightwrite. Also, on occasion I do open calls for fight questions on my story and do book give-aways. Soooooo follow, follow, follow!
The following lists are courtesy Complex Trauma Healing
FIGHT – “No relationships, just prisoners”
UNCONSCIOUS BELIEF–Power and control create a safe environment, secure love and soothes abandonment
INTERNAL SURVIVAL PATTERN–Pursue power and control
CHILDHOOD CONDITIONS–Spoiled, insufficient limits, allowed to imitate an abusive or narcissistic parent
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS–Criticizes, rages, ceaselessly dominates conversation
OUTER CRITIC VOICE–I will control and correct the imperfection in others
TO FEEL SAFE–Acts – Rages at others
POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES–Assertive, creates solid boundaries, courageous, good leader, articulate
NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES–Bully, explosive, controlling, insistent on obedience, rejects opinions of others, controls rather than connects
DECISION MAKING–Impulsive
FLIGHT – “Stay busy”
UNCONSCIOUS BELIEF–Perfection & achievement make me safe and lovable
INTERNAL SURVIVAL PATTERN–Escape into thoughts and action
CHILDHOOD CONDITIONS–Hyperactive response to family trauma ranging between type “A” driven and ADHD drop-out
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS–Worrying, performance anxiety, adrenaline junkie, over-achiever
INNER CRITIC VOICE–I must be perfect
TO FEEL SAFE–Thinks obsessively
POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES–Healthy retreat, industrious, know-how, perseverance, objective
NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES–Panicky, worrier, adrenaline junkie, over-achiever
DECISION MAKING–Over-analytical
FREEZE — “Hide from the world”
UNCONSCIOUS BELIEF– People = danger
INTERNAL SURVIVAL PATTERN—Avoid human contact
CHILDHOOD CONDITIONS–The scapegoat, the most profoundly abandoned child, not allowed to employ other fight responses
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS–Hibernating, sleeping, daydreaming, screen addiction, doom scrolling
OUTER CRITIC VOICE–Avoid imperfect others
TO FEEL SAFE–Withdraws
POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES–Acute awareness, mindfulness, peace, presence, detachment, poised readiness
NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES–Contracting, hiding, camouflaging, isolation, couch potato, hermit
DECISION MAKING–Struggles
FOLLOW/FAWN —“Keep others happy”
UNCONSCIOUS BELIEF–The price of admission to any relationship is forfeiture of my needs, rights, boundaries
INTERNAL SURVIVAL PATTERN–Please people
CHILDHOOD CONDITIONS–Narcissistic parents, child learns bits of safety and love come from compliance
COMMON CHARACTERISTICS–Entertainer, “yes” man, flattering, desperate to fit in
INNER CRITIC VOICE —I’m imperfect, I must please
TO FEEL SAFE–Goes along
POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES–Love, service, compromise, listener, fair, empathetic, peace making
NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES–Obsequious, servitude, loss of self, people pleaser, doormat, slave
DECISION MAKING–Defers to others
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